Thursday 6 November 2014

Toxic!!

She - a free bird, strong willed, fun-loving, devil-may-care attitude.

He - caring, sincere, grounded and extremely loving.

His love had provided a nest to this free bird, which she thought she needed.

Things were going fine, and then the love started brushing off… The roles were getting reversed and he was becoming more of a free bird and the devil-may-care attitude.
But did she want him to be that, because the whole idea of her falling for him was because of the fact that he was so unlike her?

He started caring less and less for her needs and her wants, started getting annoyed by her constant bickering (whereas she thought she was being caring) , started losing his temper on things which earlier were not so irritating for him, started giving her less and less time because work demanded more and more time.

Of course she understood, he was working hard for their own better future, but what was becoming of the present, was making her think if they would ever have that future.

The lovey-dovey conversations had turned into who did what and who did not do what, and who’s mistake was it and who’s mistake was it not, and who should have taken more care and who should have stayed out of other’s business. She was of the opinion that his business was her business, at least which was how it was until now. When were these lines drawn and why was she oblivious to these?
Was she responsible for this attitude of is? Was it actually only her behavior which was leading to him behaving this way, as he often said,” My action is only a reaction to your action”.  So was it only her who was ruining it all? Had she really transgressed (however unknowingly) to a zone where the only person she loved the most couldn't tolerate another comment, another question, another what-ever from her? They were fighting more and loving less. But I a sure the love is there somewhere!

But what could she do? She only had him as a friend now and it came naturally to her to depend wholly on him and no one else. Whereas he still had his group of friends, he still had his occasional outings with colleagues; he still had some event or the other to attend. And in the midst of all this he became so occupied that sometimes he didn't have any time to even sms her forget about calling her for hours together.

Maybe it was her fault after all, that she only had her life revolving around him, that she was not as busy as him (or even if she was, she always had time for him) , that she had made herself more and more dispensable!!!

 She rarely got answers from him without and argument, and thus she kept finding faults within herself, what was lacking in her, why was she causing the repulsion, was she really so annoying that you couldn't talk straight to her for anything? This was toxic! It was making her feel more and more useless, making her feel unwanted and unloved, making her feel like running away somewhere and never coming back!!

Not sure what should she do? What should I tell her to do/ what should I tell any woman in such a relationship to do?

You know where the love is still there, but dying a slow death. And both of them are in it, because i-don’t-know they are just in it!

No comments:

Post a Comment