Monday 28 October 2013

The Void :-(

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It was 2 p.m. , I got a call from a friend who was just told by a Doctor that he had Cancer. A call, post which, we thought the world was coming to an end. I hurriedly called up Nonie, to inform her of the same, and we decided to meet up with this friend in the evening to make him feel better and see what could be done.

It was the four of us, me,Nonie, THE friend and another friend who met at his place and we all went out for dinner, to make things lighter and less worrisome. We all chatted and laughed and cracked stupid jokes, and when the air felt slightly better, we decided to part ways and go home. Nonie worked in a B.P.O and had a night shift, so as we all headed home, she headed to work. Before leaving for work she dropped me home, this was 11.30 in the night. We, although being child hood friends, were never into hugging each other much, but somehow that night she got off the car hugged me and told I am in no mood to go to work today. Of course, the emotions which were at play due to the news we got earlier in the day were playing havoc with our minds. And I thought, it would be good for her to go to work so that she can try and be back to normal.

Again surprisingly she called me once reaching office, which was quite unlike her. We chatted for a couple of minutes I told her to concentrate on work and relax a bit. 3.30 a.m. she calls me again, I pick up the phone in deep sleep,
" Hello!"
"Oh, you were sleeping", she says.
"Yes, of course!"
" I just thought i'll talk to you...Never mind, you sleep babes, we'll talk in the morning." she says and hangs up..

My phone rings in the morning at 5.30, it's Nonie's mother, " Your friend is DEAD!!"
I tell her to stop joking early in the morning. And she tells me how could I possibly joke about such a thing!

My ears,my hands, my entire body went numb. How could that happen? She was supposed to call me in the morning and have a heart to heart like many occassions in the past!!!! 

Her cab had met with an accident on her way back from work, and 3 people had died, it was flashing all over the news! One of them was her!!! REALLY!! Was it really her???

I still have that question and many a times wake up in the middle of the night, after having a dream about her. Was it really her?? How could she go so soon! Why didn't I ask her not to go to work and crash at my place, like in all previous occassions!!! Whatever happened to the experiences we were yet to share with each other? How many thoughts and feelings are still waiting to come out in front of her, but where is she?

I still have her number saved in my phone, wishing that someday I would call her and she would pick up the phone with the same giggle in her voice. I know that's not going to happen, but still I hope against hope. She left a space in my heart, which could not be filled by anyone.

I just want you to know, wherever you are, YOU were, YOU are and YOU would always remain THE BEST-EST FRIEND in the whole wide world.

I wish I could talk to you, just one more time. Would say all the things unsaid, would share all the feelings unshared, would pour my heart out!

I Wish!!!

Wednesday 23 October 2013

Festive Spirit Ahoy!!

So here we are in the middle of the festive season. Needless to say, the air is filled with gusto and celebration spirit. To add to the festive spirit is the wedding season as well, hence the overcrowded markets. People buying anything and everything. Of utility? Well, that remains a question to be answered....Don't want to talk much about the decorations and lights and the kilometer long traffic jams...

But something that hit me real hard was something I saw over the weekend.

We were invited to a friend's for dinner and on our way back, late at night, saw a lot of people sleeping on the pavements. Now, that's not a new sight for any Delhi-ite or for anyone living in a metro. But, it got me thinking, how many destitutes would be there, living on the streets of our city. How many of them would want to change their life's and would want to achieve something through  hard-work? And how many are ok with the way things are and accepted it as a part of their destiny. These people are ill-provided for and often you would see them shivering in the cold winter night without so much as a proper blanket over them. But how many of us care to give off our blankets to them, even though each of us would have plenty spare one's at our homes. What if some relative comes over, we would need all of them!!

With the winters knocking on the doors, we would see them inappropriately dressed, without so much as a pullover over there bare bodies. And we on the other hand, always want that long over-coat, missing in our wardrobe!!!! We keep cribbing, " oh i don't have anything to wear", with the cup-board screaming for help to be cleaned ( this includes me!! ). Think of those who don't have so much as a cup-board or more than a couple of clothes , hence they don't face the problem of choices.

Not saying we should feel guilty about having such abundances in life ( and trust me, you would feel abundant if you compare yourself with them ) , but we shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves too for not being able to buy that expensive car, or for not being able to go on that vacation we always wanted.

Whatever we have, will always be lesser in comparison to some and way too much in comparison to others. How you want to feel about it is your choice, you want to feel deprived or you want to feel you have aplenty. Again your choice!

Would sum up with this quote,
"In the long run men inevitably become the victim of their wealth. They adapt their lives and habits to their money, not their money to their lives. It preoccupies their thoughts, creates artificial needs, and draws a curtain between them and the world."

Bis bald! 

Wednesday 16 October 2013

To BE or not to BE, that is the question.

As we all know, there are Six Fundamental Rights in India:-

  1. Right to Equality
  2. Right to Freedom
  3. Right against exploitation
  4. Right to freedom of religion
  5. Cultural and Educational rights
  6. Right to Constitutional Remedies for enforcement of Fundamental Rights
So much for the Social Studies lesson, the case in point here is the Right to Freedom. For me, there should be a sub-branch to this Right , " Right to BE"..

Like everything else, which is there in books and only in books, I guess the entire idea of these rights also remains printed but not followed.

In college days , how many times I would have avoided catching the eye of few Aunties while passing by, lest they ask me a question on where I was coming from or where I was going to. How it was any of their business, I fail to understand to this day. Then there were those, who felt they had all the liberty to comment on what I wore and whom I hung out with. Some even had the audacity of telling my mom of how she should keep an eye on me all the time and not let me have any guy friends!!

Then came the time, when I began my career and moved to a different city, and here I thought I would be a little relieved. But alas, the land lady had zillion questions on which friends are visiting me and what time I was coming home. And again the regular comment on what I should wear and what not ( Shouldn't it be a personal choice!!!!!!! ) . Aunty, I never asked you, why you chose to wear the same Saree day-in and day-out!

And oh-not-to-forget the relatives and neighbors continuously checking when I decided to settle down in life, how many marks I scored in my academics, which stream I took in 11th standard, what career choices whould I make, when one should ideally have children and how many ( yes, people want to decide that too for you..) . So for those who don't want to puzzle their brains much over this, leave the job to those who are willing to plan your entire life for you.

Why can't we understand, and let others be!!
I only have this to say, to all those nosy intruders,

"Before you judge my life, my past or my character, walk in my shoes, walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrows, my doubts, my fear, my pain & my laughter... Remember everyone has a story, when u have lived my life then u can judge me...."

Live and let live. You have no business telling anyone, how they should live their life, unless someone asks for your advice and opinion!!

Not sure, if this is the right approach in life, but I'd rather live it on my own terms.

I'll walk my own path and take my own risks. And if I fail, what the heck, that's how I'll learn!

Till our paths cross again!


Tuesday 15 October 2013

Some connection there certainly is !!

Often times I wonder, how the world would have been before I was born. Was it as rosy as is shown in the classic English movies, the one's with the strong Victorian Era influence. Where the girls are dressed in beautiful gowns and the bouffant's adorn there heads and they go around dancing in the splendid ball rooms.

And then there are those movies ," The Boy in the striped pyjamas " and " The Schindler's List", which make you aware that there was such a world too. Have not been able to fathom the relation with the second kind of world so far, but I am drawn towards it very strongly. How many times I would have Google-d Holocaust and survival stories, I myself can't recall. Read through so many websites and books to find out why it happened and what joy it provided to any human being to brutally massacre another human race. Someone with same blood and veins, who breathed and walked and talked just like you do.

Each time I read about it,  I feel more and more disgusted with how we can stoop to such levels of inhumanity! The stories do really strike a very strong chord in my heart, that of sadness and feeling sorry.

I really think, there's got to be a connection. Why else would I be reading about it again and again and again, only to end up feeling hurt and sad!

What a write-up to begin my blogging life, but that's what is on my mind for some time now and where else to pour out but my world!