Tuesday 3 December 2013


We were in the same school since kindergarten, and often used to be in the opposite groups specially when it came to all the rivalries ( be it the-who will be chosen by the music teacher for the next annual day group song, or which section will win the maths/science/xyz quiz ).
This because we were in different sections. But despite all the rivalry between the sections, we were friends.

Spending hours talking over the phone, the sleepovers and those cat calls during the sleep overs, mall walking aimlessly and shopping to our heart's content with the saved pocket money used to be our favorite pastimes.

It was in 9th standard that we decided we were grown up enough to go out for a movie all by ourselves, without having either set of parents to watch us. And we decided to go to the theater farthest from home. And since it was a Hollywood movie, gosh were we glad that the parents were not accompanying us.. We'll be able to watch the entire movie and would not need to excuse ourselves to the washroom, each time they show so much as a kiss on the screen ;-) ...

It was the four of us who went for the movie, had awesome fun and returned home, little realizing the  fact that we were way beyond our curfews.. After all who cares what timelines are set by the parents to return home, once you are out with friends. Mobile phones were not a fashion accessory at that time, and us being the less fashionable one's were of course deprived of the luxury. Hence, no phone calls from mom-dad inquiring about our whereabouts. So once we reach our respective homes, the sequence of events which ensued at our places was somehow almost similar.

Dad's in the balconies with something in their hands to give us a nice thrashing ( mine had his old shoe and her's had a bat :-) .. and before you get thinking they were not used on us, so no child abuse here ) . Mom's in the drawing rooms with the worried looks and almost at the verge of crying, and our siblings understanding the tension in the house moved to the farthest corner of the house, away from the very sight of mom and dad, lest they bear the brunt of their sisters' mistake.

It really took some convincing and apologizing and what all and what not to evade the outbursts from the Dad's, though if I recall now, I think mom did let her hand move freely..he he

The next day when we exchanged notes on how long we were grounded for, we couldn't contain our laughter on getting to know we shared the same plight. The funniest part ( or now as a parent I think, the scariest for them at that point of time ) was her father had almost stepped out of the house to file a Missing FIR!!!!

That was the last day when we dared do such a thing, after that each of our outings were closely monitored, and most were only to each other's place where parents could call and check where we were.


Wednesday 27 November 2013

Needy- Are they?

And he throws away the piece of Paneer I offered him to eat!!!!!

I thought he was begging because he was hungry ( as that's what he was claiming! ) . So I offer him a piece of what I was eating, he makes faces, then takes it, goes to a corner and throws it away!

And all this while he was knocking at the window pane of the car, saying he had not eaten for so many days, and was starving to death and wanted Rs. 5 to eat something. ( I now want to ask him, do you think the paneer which you threw, would have come in that meager an amount considering the sky-rocketing prices... You actually had the audacity of throwing it away!) .

Not too sure of the authenticity of the statement, but have heard about begging mafias being operational in most of the metros in India. And the fool that I am, used to think it can't be totally true. Why would someone beg, if the only aim is to quench his desire to have some booze or to take a drag of some local marijuana. But there is another side to this as well, where these people are forced to beg and fill the coffers of the so-called bosses.

So should we/shouldn't we give any money to these beggars? I remember, a friend used to often give such people food and I thought she would be getting blessings in return. But this incident set me thinking, if we are offering them food and not money, do we really get any blessings?
There might be the needy ones as well, who are not forced, don't want anything to do with drugs or alcohol and actually only want food. But who is to know which one's are genuine?

The question has been looming on my mind for quite some time now, are we doing them a favor by handing over some money to them? Perhaps the one's they are answerable to , would be happy on getting the money and would spare them of the atrocities that they might be thinking of inflicting on them. Or maybe not, and make their life even tougher. Or maybe it's just their addiction to drugs and nothing more for which they beg.. Who is to know??

Friday 15 November 2013

The Incorrigible Male driver!!

The usual rant goes something like this,
"Driving at such a speed in the fast lane!! Must be a female driver! ( And wham a tight one on the face, it's a male! )
Overtaking from the wrong direction, must be a female.. ( and there we have a male again!! ;) )!!
Taking forever to start the ignition on a traffic signal,,has to be a female...
Not signalling before taking a turn...
Oh driving with an  L sign on , why don't you learn first and then come on the road ( where would someone learn if not on the roads!!!!!) "

and the list is endless...

If you find someone on the road in the car ahead of you, doing even one of the enlisted things above...it definitely has got to be a woman on the wheels ( or so the men think! ) . However if statistics are anything to go by, more males are involved in reckless driving, fatal crashes, speed violations, stop sign signal violations etc..etc.. as compared to women..
But I am sure, the other sex would here beg to differ with me, because it takes too much of male ego to accept that women can drive well.

In fact, the extent to which they go to defend their own kind is amazing..Even if they see someone of their kind driving incorrectly, they would defend that person, instead of accepting that what he did was wrong.
It's easy to overlook their own faults, but very difficult to overlook even the slightest of mistakes that a woman might make while driving!

Some even have the audacity of putting the blame of their mis-driving ( I know there's no such word ) , on women.. Because the woman driving in front of me, took a sudden turn, I lost control and banged the car. Isn't it your responsibility to take care of how you drive, irrespective of how many fools might be out there on the streets. My father told me, when he started giving me driving lessons," Drive as if the entire world driving around you is mad, and you are the last one left with some sanity. "

I am not denying the fact that some people do end up driving very funnily, but that's not gender specific, it could be anyone. Stop generalizing and stop being judgmental!!

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.” 
― Dave Barry

And oh by-the-way, it just doesn't stop at women...
If someone overtakes you, how dare they!! I need to teach this son-of-a-bitch a lesson of his lifetime, by doing everything possible in my control to overtake him again and then not giving him way to move ahead of me..

If someone honks at you more than once, what is this guys problem in life. He is in too much of a hurry! Now I will make sure that I don't give him any passage!

If someone races ahead of you on a traffic signal, oh alright! You want a race! Bring it on dude! And then there's no holding back the hard press on the accelerator!

Friday 8 November 2013

Holier than thou..-- Pretenses!

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How do you define your connection with God? Is it necessary to chant 10,000 shlokas early in the morning to be one with him? Or is it just a perception?

I believe my relationship with him is more internal than external. I do worship in my heart and I am spiritual, but not a fanatic.

" Oh that boy/girl, is too good. He/She gets up early in the morning and goes to the temple. Great principles have been imbibed in him/her by his/her parents." One of the parameters through which a person is judged by the people. But who knows the same person might be stepping outside the house and behaving in a not so conservative fashion.

The point being, if someone chooses to not put on a miss-goody-two-shoes attitude and presents oneself the way that person is inside out , does it make them a bad person. If someone chooses to not go to the temple regularly, but feel connected to god in the confinement of their own room in some solitary time, does it make them any less spiritual? If you follow all the dogmatic rituals, you are a god fearing human being, but what if you choose to ignore them? How about those god-fearing aunty-ji's who make it a point to attend each and every kirtan gathering in the temple and in their locality, but often end up with bitching sessions about the who's who of the locality in the end of what should have been a spiritually awakening session...

Many a times, people follow a religious or spiritual leader, for the sheer joy of being looked upon as spiritual human beings. Some people worship, because they want to save themselves from the wrath of gods.( Or so they think!!)

Some people I have met, are hypocrites of the first degree in these cases. They would go on and on and on about how they follow certain rituals and how they are so religious and how they find solace in god and only god and how they have nothing to do with the so called "Moh-Maaya". And you turn your back, and they would start ranting about , " oh which brand was she wearing" and " what car do you drive" and " who was so and so going out with" . I thought, you were away from all this, because you are a worshiper and are so wholly solely dedicated to the almighty!!!!!

This entire drama irks me to the extent that I feel like asking such people, why? Why live in pretense? If you have a connection with him, good for you. Stop demeaning those , who choose not to make their personal relationship with him not so public..

Monday 28 October 2013

The Void :-(

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It was 2 p.m. , I got a call from a friend who was just told by a Doctor that he had Cancer. A call, post which, we thought the world was coming to an end. I hurriedly called up Nonie, to inform her of the same, and we decided to meet up with this friend in the evening to make him feel better and see what could be done.

It was the four of us, me,Nonie, THE friend and another friend who met at his place and we all went out for dinner, to make things lighter and less worrisome. We all chatted and laughed and cracked stupid jokes, and when the air felt slightly better, we decided to part ways and go home. Nonie worked in a B.P.O and had a night shift, so as we all headed home, she headed to work. Before leaving for work she dropped me home, this was 11.30 in the night. We, although being child hood friends, were never into hugging each other much, but somehow that night she got off the car hugged me and told I am in no mood to go to work today. Of course, the emotions which were at play due to the news we got earlier in the day were playing havoc with our minds. And I thought, it would be good for her to go to work so that she can try and be back to normal.

Again surprisingly she called me once reaching office, which was quite unlike her. We chatted for a couple of minutes I told her to concentrate on work and relax a bit. 3.30 a.m. she calls me again, I pick up the phone in deep sleep,
" Hello!"
"Oh, you were sleeping", she says.
"Yes, of course!"
" I just thought i'll talk to you...Never mind, you sleep babes, we'll talk in the morning." she says and hangs up..

My phone rings in the morning at 5.30, it's Nonie's mother, " Your friend is DEAD!!"
I tell her to stop joking early in the morning. And she tells me how could I possibly joke about such a thing!

My ears,my hands, my entire body went numb. How could that happen? She was supposed to call me in the morning and have a heart to heart like many occassions in the past!!!! 

Her cab had met with an accident on her way back from work, and 3 people had died, it was flashing all over the news! One of them was her!!! REALLY!! Was it really her???

I still have that question and many a times wake up in the middle of the night, after having a dream about her. Was it really her?? How could she go so soon! Why didn't I ask her not to go to work and crash at my place, like in all previous occassions!!! Whatever happened to the experiences we were yet to share with each other? How many thoughts and feelings are still waiting to come out in front of her, but where is she?

I still have her number saved in my phone, wishing that someday I would call her and she would pick up the phone with the same giggle in her voice. I know that's not going to happen, but still I hope against hope. She left a space in my heart, which could not be filled by anyone.

I just want you to know, wherever you are, YOU were, YOU are and YOU would always remain THE BEST-EST FRIEND in the whole wide world.

I wish I could talk to you, just one more time. Would say all the things unsaid, would share all the feelings unshared, would pour my heart out!

I Wish!!!

Wednesday 23 October 2013

Festive Spirit Ahoy!!

So here we are in the middle of the festive season. Needless to say, the air is filled with gusto and celebration spirit. To add to the festive spirit is the wedding season as well, hence the overcrowded markets. People buying anything and everything. Of utility? Well, that remains a question to be answered....Don't want to talk much about the decorations and lights and the kilometer long traffic jams...

But something that hit me real hard was something I saw over the weekend.

We were invited to a friend's for dinner and on our way back, late at night, saw a lot of people sleeping on the pavements. Now, that's not a new sight for any Delhi-ite or for anyone living in a metro. But, it got me thinking, how many destitutes would be there, living on the streets of our city. How many of them would want to change their life's and would want to achieve something through  hard-work? And how many are ok with the way things are and accepted it as a part of their destiny. These people are ill-provided for and often you would see them shivering in the cold winter night without so much as a proper blanket over them. But how many of us care to give off our blankets to them, even though each of us would have plenty spare one's at our homes. What if some relative comes over, we would need all of them!!

With the winters knocking on the doors, we would see them inappropriately dressed, without so much as a pullover over there bare bodies. And we on the other hand, always want that long over-coat, missing in our wardrobe!!!! We keep cribbing, " oh i don't have anything to wear", with the cup-board screaming for help to be cleaned ( this includes me!! ). Think of those who don't have so much as a cup-board or more than a couple of clothes , hence they don't face the problem of choices.

Not saying we should feel guilty about having such abundances in life ( and trust me, you would feel abundant if you compare yourself with them ) , but we shouldn't feel sorry for ourselves too for not being able to buy that expensive car, or for not being able to go on that vacation we always wanted.

Whatever we have, will always be lesser in comparison to some and way too much in comparison to others. How you want to feel about it is your choice, you want to feel deprived or you want to feel you have aplenty. Again your choice!

Would sum up with this quote,
"In the long run men inevitably become the victim of their wealth. They adapt their lives and habits to their money, not their money to their lives. It preoccupies their thoughts, creates artificial needs, and draws a curtain between them and the world."

Bis bald! 

Wednesday 16 October 2013

To BE or not to BE, that is the question.

As we all know, there are Six Fundamental Rights in India:-

  1. Right to Equality
  2. Right to Freedom
  3. Right against exploitation
  4. Right to freedom of religion
  5. Cultural and Educational rights
  6. Right to Constitutional Remedies for enforcement of Fundamental Rights
So much for the Social Studies lesson, the case in point here is the Right to Freedom. For me, there should be a sub-branch to this Right , " Right to BE"..

Like everything else, which is there in books and only in books, I guess the entire idea of these rights also remains printed but not followed.

In college days , how many times I would have avoided catching the eye of few Aunties while passing by, lest they ask me a question on where I was coming from or where I was going to. How it was any of their business, I fail to understand to this day. Then there were those, who felt they had all the liberty to comment on what I wore and whom I hung out with. Some even had the audacity of telling my mom of how she should keep an eye on me all the time and not let me have any guy friends!!

Then came the time, when I began my career and moved to a different city, and here I thought I would be a little relieved. But alas, the land lady had zillion questions on which friends are visiting me and what time I was coming home. And again the regular comment on what I should wear and what not ( Shouldn't it be a personal choice!!!!!!! ) . Aunty, I never asked you, why you chose to wear the same Saree day-in and day-out!

And oh-not-to-forget the relatives and neighbors continuously checking when I decided to settle down in life, how many marks I scored in my academics, which stream I took in 11th standard, what career choices whould I make, when one should ideally have children and how many ( yes, people want to decide that too for you..) . So for those who don't want to puzzle their brains much over this, leave the job to those who are willing to plan your entire life for you.

Why can't we understand, and let others be!!
I only have this to say, to all those nosy intruders,

"Before you judge my life, my past or my character, walk in my shoes, walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrows, my doubts, my fear, my pain & my laughter... Remember everyone has a story, when u have lived my life then u can judge me...."

Live and let live. You have no business telling anyone, how they should live their life, unless someone asks for your advice and opinion!!

Not sure, if this is the right approach in life, but I'd rather live it on my own terms.

I'll walk my own path and take my own risks. And if I fail, what the heck, that's how I'll learn!

Till our paths cross again!


Tuesday 15 October 2013

Some connection there certainly is !!

Often times I wonder, how the world would have been before I was born. Was it as rosy as is shown in the classic English movies, the one's with the strong Victorian Era influence. Where the girls are dressed in beautiful gowns and the bouffant's adorn there heads and they go around dancing in the splendid ball rooms.

And then there are those movies ," The Boy in the striped pyjamas " and " The Schindler's List", which make you aware that there was such a world too. Have not been able to fathom the relation with the second kind of world so far, but I am drawn towards it very strongly. How many times I would have Google-d Holocaust and survival stories, I myself can't recall. Read through so many websites and books to find out why it happened and what joy it provided to any human being to brutally massacre another human race. Someone with same blood and veins, who breathed and walked and talked just like you do.

Each time I read about it,  I feel more and more disgusted with how we can stoop to such levels of inhumanity! The stories do really strike a very strong chord in my heart, that of sadness and feeling sorry.

I really think, there's got to be a connection. Why else would I be reading about it again and again and again, only to end up feeling hurt and sad!

What a write-up to begin my blogging life, but that's what is on my mind for some time now and where else to pour out but here..in my world!